The Mental Load: We’re All Just Trying to Keep It Together

Let’s be honest: if you’re a woman, you’ve probably found yourself in one of those moments where you’re literally juggling the weight of the world in your mind—without anyone even noticing. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the

"I-can’t-believe-I-forgot-to-put-the-laundry-in-the-dryer-again" feeling mixed with "Did I

remember to send that email?"—and oh yeah, "When’s the next dentist appointment?" It’s

endless. It’s exhausting. And it’s very real.

The mental load is like having 18 tabs open in your brain at all times—and none of them are ever fully loaded or closed. They’re just... there. You might get a small break when you’re sleeping (though let’s be real, are you even fully sleeping?), but then, your brain wakes you up at 3 a.m. reminding you about that one thing you forgot to do three days ago. But somehow, you’re supposed to pull off a productive day at work while simultaneously managing everything else. You're balancing emails, meetings, and your to-do list while also keeping the kids alive, figuring out dinner, and making sure your partner actually remembers what day it is. (And no, it’s not "just one of those days"—it’s literally every day.)

Picture this: you're at work, deep in a project, totally in the zone, and then ding—an email pops up. It’s from your kid’s school about a parent-teacher conference. Ping—a text from your boo about what’s for dinner. Ding—a reminder that your parents need help with something. Then, back to work, but wait—did you respond to that other message? Did you pay the electric bill? Was that due today? Oh, and don’t forget, your friend’s birthday is coming up next week. What do you even get her? All of this, plus a hundred other things, are swirling in your head at the same time. And yet, you're still trying to focus on that presentation. How? Honestly, magic. The

kind of magic only women seem to possess.

But wait—there’s another layer to this mental load: emotional labor. Let’s talk about the unsung hero that no one really mentions—the task of managing everyone’s emotions. As women, we often find ourselves the emotional support system for everyone around us. Whether it’s your partner having a bad day at work, your kids navigating their social drama, or even your friends needing a shoulder to lean on, you’re the one who’s mentally and emotionally invested. But who’s checking in on you?

The reality is that the emotional labor is just as heavy as the physical tasks. You remember everyone’s birthdays, doctor’s appointments, and what time your mom’s flight lands (but forget that you need to refill your own prescription). You’re the one organizing, planning, and worrying about everyone else—while still trying to keep a smile on your face. And the best part? No one knows you're doing it. Because it’s invisible.

The icing on the cake? The pressure to do it all perfectly. The world expects us to nail every role we’re in—whether it’s employee of the month at work or the Pinterest-perfect mom at home.

You’re expected to juggle a full-time career and still make time for family, friends, hobbies, and personal care. Oh, and don’t forget to have a social life and be in great shape. Oh, and—wait, have you considered starting a side hustle? You probably should.

The mental load feeds into this cycle of perfectionism. “I should be better at this.” “I should do more.” “I shouldn’t need help.” But here’s the thing: we all need help. Perfection doesn’t exist, and you’re doing amazing—whether or not the house is spotless, whether or not you’ve finished your to-do list, whether or not you managed to answer that 87th email. You don’t have to do it all, and you certainly don’t have to do it alone.

So, how do we survive this mental juggling act? First of all, you’ve got to admit you can’t do it all—and that’s perfectly fine. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less capable. It just makes you human. If you're lucky enough to have a partner, family, or friends around, don’t be afraid to ask for support. Need help with dinner? Ask. Can’t find time to take a break? Ask someone to watch the kids for an hour. Need a mental health day? Ask your boss for the time off. Seriously, it’s okay.

At work, set boundaries. You don’t have to respond to that email at 9 p.m. or work weekends. (I’m talking to myself too!) You deserve time to disconnect and recharge. And at home, talk about the mental load. Let others know what’s on your mind—and ask them to carry their share of it. No more doing everything and then silently resenting everyone. Read that last sentence again.

Life’s not about being perfect or checking every box. It’s about managing the mental load in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling like you’re drowning. Let’s ditch the idea that we need to be everything to everyone all the time. It’s okay to not have it all together. And it’s definitely okay to ask for help.

The next time you're juggling work, family, and everything in between, take a moment to pause and remind yourself: you're doing an incredible job, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You’ve got this— take a breath and carve out a little time for yourself.

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The mental load is a real, often overwhelming challenge, especially for women who juggle

various roles at home, at work, and in relationships. As we navigate the emotional and physical demands of daily life, we can turn to Scripture for guidance, comfort, and encouragement. Below are some key verses that can offer perspective on how to manage the mental load and find peace amid the chaos, along with questions to help you reflect on how to approach life with more balance.

Scripture

Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with

thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Galatians 6:2 (ESV)

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Questions for Reflection

What mental loads are you carrying that you need to surrender to God? How can you seek rest in Him?

What worries or anxieties are weighing you down? How can you present them to God in prayer, trusting His peace to guard your heart?

Who in your life can you reach out to for support, and how can you better communicate your needs to share the load?